• Club 379 is "the very first membership-based grooming service for males in the country." In short, this place is extraordinary on many levels...go to the website to check it out.

• The Barbershop Forum is a new, grass roots venture that we (haji, Dr. A, Omar/Shea/379Club, and me) dreamed up over the last few months. Our vision - which is very much a work-in-progress - is to provide a forum for dads/dad-figures to meet, talk, watch, listen, learn, create and ultimately BE the best dads, men, mentors we can possibly be...STAY TUNED!

True progress toward ending violence against women and children will only be achieved when a critical mass of men are actively involved in the solution by talking to the boys in their lives...

In the video clip, Duncan adresses what I believe is central to the success of Obama's school/family initiative. I call it 'the two-way street of father-involvement': we must simultaneously challenge dads/men to show up more in schools and challenge educators to be the ones welcoming them in the door. This goes against not only historical and cultural legacies that perpetuate the stereotype of education/schooling as women's work, but it also challenges families (men, women, kids) and educators all to step into, not away from, discomfort. 

At the forum, I asked Sec. Duncan what he and the others on the panel can do to educate the educators about the importance of dads/men in schools. Below are a few responses, some in the video clip and some not, worth highlighting:

1. Secretary Duncan said fathers must move outside their comfort zones and get involved with their children, perhaps in ways they didn't interact with their own fathers.

2. The Superintendent of Manchester, NH schools, Thomas Brennan acknowledged that administrators, teachers and other staff have not been taught to value fathers and their role in education, and that he himself has not considered that some fathers may not feel welcome in schools.

3. Sec. Duncan said, "We as educators haven't done a good job with this two-way street idea." He insisted that that if we want children to fulfull their academic potential that the only way to do it is by incorporating families, and that means including dads/men.

Jonah wrote this song for his teenage daughter, Hannah; the two of them are featured in my documentary film, All Men Are Sons: Exploring The Legacy of Fatherhood. I owe them both a great debt of gratitude for allowing me to chronicle their relationship on video. We shot every month or so, over a period of years. Little do they know (until they read this blog) that the next installment of All Men Are Sons is only a year or so away...The plan is to revisit each of the five subjects in the film every 5 years. But that's a longer story...

Enjoy the song. Lyrics are pasted below...

(note: you will see two titles, then the screen goes to black, and the song continues)

Every Mistake

Oh my love, how can I say
The things that you'll see, some perfect way.
I could tell stories of infinite roads, fountains of youth, romantic fables...
But instead I'll just say it.

You're going to make every mistake.
Sometimes you're going to fall flat on your face.
So just do it with grace, know that I'll be there...
And love you while you make every mistake.

My sweetest of ones, you're growing up great.
Wide open heart, excellent eyes.
You're climbing and trying without even trying,
Without even knowing what I can't explain.
Like when did I get so scared of dying?
It never seemed real. We really leave here.
And stranger still, though it seems sad,
I'm trying to show you that something is here,
Something so sweet.

You're going to make every mistake.
Sometimes you're going to fall flat on your face.
So just do it with grace, know that I'll be there...
And love you while you make every mistake.

Of course I wish you all of the beauty,
A love rnever ending, a life without pain.
And when it seems hardest and there's no reasy answer,
Just try to trust me.

You're going to make every mistake.
Sometimes you're going to fall flat on your face.
So just do it with grace, know that I'll be there...
And love you while you make every mistake.